


My Dear Watson

by Khoshekh42



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Fluff, Halloween Costumes, M/M, Miscommunication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2021-01-03 22:08:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21186764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khoshekh42/pseuds/Khoshekh42
Summary: Through a miscommunication, Todd believes that Dirk has feelings for Farah- when he actually has feelings for Todd.Things come to light during Dirk's Halloween party.





	My Dear Watson

**Author's Note:**

> Art by biscottl on tumblr!!
> 
> https://biscottl.tumblr.com/post/188635230737/heres-a-little-drawing-inspired-by

“Hey, Todd?” Amanda sounded guilty.

“Oh no. That’s never good.” Todd joked, though he was a little nervous- if _Amanda _felt guilty, that couldn’t be good.

“I was talking to Dirk, and… I might have accidentally made a joke about that time that you and Farah made out.”

“O…kay… What’s the big deal?”

“He seemed really unsettled by it. Like, y’know, he was jealous or something.”

Todd furrowed his brow, “But why would Dirk be jealous of… I mean, you don’t think he…”

Amanda scoffed at him. “Yeah, I do think. It’s been obvious to the rest of us- not that we ever expected you to notice.”

“I- hey.”

“You’re not exactly a master of perception, Todd.”

“I mean, maybe. There’s no need to be mean about it, though.” He grumbled.

“There’s always a need to be mean, dipshit.” She said, though her voice was mirthful.

“Okay, okay. Love you. I’ll figure out the Dirk situation.”

“Love you, too, buddy. Hope things work out. See ‘ya.” She sounded almost like she felt bad for Todd, though he couldn’t figure out why that would be.

Todd sighed. _Dirk likes Farah? That’s new._

He busied himself with continuing the job Dirk had given him before he’d gone off to god-knows-where to do god-knows-what, cutting out paper bats for the Halloween party that Dirk had been planning since early July.

Dirk had made Todd promise to wear a costume that Dirk would choose.

Todd was only a little nervous.

As it turned out, Dirk had been out buying their costumes, which Dirk had revealed to be so obvious that when Todd was given his outfit, he rolled his eyes and kicked himself for not realizing what it would be.

“I’ll wear the Watson costume,” He told Dirk, “But I refuse to wear the mustache.”

“But Todd!” Dirk whirled to face him, abandoning the pancakes he was making for lunch, “That makes the costume!”

“Dirk, it’ll never stick, and I have hair there. It’ll hurt like a son-of-a-bitch trying to take it off, and I’m not here for that.”

Dirk scoffed, throwing down the spatula onto the counter. “But it _makes the costume_.”

“I don’t care, Dirk, if it’ll pull out hair, I’m not interested.”

They bickered on for a few more minutes, until both realized that Dirk’s pancakes were burning, and all thoughts of John Watson were thrown out the window.

Todd, once all fears of the apartment burning down were quenched, thought back to what Amanda had said about Dirk liking Farah. He felt a funny wobbling in his stomach. One he couldn’t explain.

He shoved the squeamish feeling he felt to the side, not quite knowing what to do with it. Putting his mind back on Dirk and Farah (and putting the strange feeling back in the forefront), he wondered if he could set them up. A good way- he figured- to apologize to Dirk.

The problem of how, exactly, was not one he could solve.

So, the day of their Halloween party after failing to come up with a plan on his own, he went to reddit and crafted a post to explain the situation on r/relationship_advice.

* * *

**How to set up my best friend with a girl he likes**

Ok so my best friend was gone for a while, and I ended up making out with this girl we’d met previously. It didn’t mean anything, and it was mostly a stress-related move for both of us. Flash forward to now, my sister called me up and said she accidentally told my best friend that I’d made out with this girl. She said he got weird and jealous. Anyway, I’m trying to set my friend up with this girl (obviously if she’s not interested nothing’ll happen) but I don’t know how.

Help?

(Side note: I do feel weird about all of this, but can’t for the life of me figure out why)

* * *

**Iondon-derriere **

Why are you trying to set this dude up with the girl. Just get with the girl yourself.

* * *

**cognitivecutie**

tell the guy to give up bc love isnt real

* * *

**whats-in-a-username**

What’s the guy like? What’s he act like/look like?

**AssistantBrotzman**

Really sweet guy, always tries to make others be the best that they can be. Personality of sunshine. Literally the best person I’ve ever met. Lanky but cute, wears all these bright colorful jackets. He’s got kind of short brown hair that flops around when he’s nervous.

**whats-in-a-username**

You sure you don’t wanna get with this dude yourself lol

I don’t know how to help you dude, just be upfront, I think. Ask the girl if she’s into the guy, if she is, great, if not, oh well.

* * *

Todd read the comment again, then again. His heart was pounding as he read it, reread it, over and over.

_You sure you don’t wanna get with this dude yourself lol_

It was a joke. Todd knew it was just a joke, but with it confronting him so blatantly, Todd had to face what he knew was true.

He liked Dirk.

And with this realization, Todd started analyzing every situation he’d ever been in with Dirk, from the beginning, to upending his entire life to find him, to now- living with the man in the same apartment under the guise of it being more efficient and affordable.

So, new information in hand, Todd put on the Watson costume, getting ready to head out to help Dirk with the last minute prep.

Hand on the doorknob, Todd paused. He sighed, and he turned back. And he put on the mustache for the simple reason that it would make Dirk happy.

Making his way into the living room, Todd saw Dirk in his full Sherlock Holmes costume, his pipe tucked into the flap of his hat. He was fiddling with the bats that Todd had cut out, now stuck to the wall with the blue putty that it seemed every elementary school teacher owned in excess.

“Need any help?” Todd asked, feeling the moustache begin to tickle his nose already.

Dirk whirled around, the caplet of his jacket twirling with him.

“Todd! You put on the mustache.” He looked just as thrilled as Todd had wanted him to. The surprise also on Dirk’s face was evident, and it made Todd feel bad about telling Dirk he wouldn’t wear the mustache in the first place.

Todd shrugged, as if it was no big deal. “It makes the costume.” He told Dirk, donning a soft smile.

“See! I told you!” He scoffed, “Todd not listening to me when I’m right.”

“I know, I know.” Todd raised his hands in surrender. “I guess I’ll just have to listen to you from now on.” His voice was a little too serious for him to play it off as a joke.

As Dirk grinned at him, and Todd smiled right back, Todd felt a pulling at his chest, wanting to go over to Dirk- hug him? Kiss him? Just… be closer to him?

A knock at the door marked the beginning of the party, and the end of their moment.

They opened the door to reveal Amanda standing in her Colombia costume from Rocky Horror, and at the sight of Dirk and Todd in their Sherlock and Watson costumes, she just burst out laughing.

"Dude." She looked to Dirk, "How'd you get him to wear the mustache? He hates that sort of shit."

Dirk shrugged, "I just told him that it made the costume."

Amanda shot Todd an 'Oh boy you're so fucked' look, which was returned with Todd's patented 'Fuck you, Amanda' glare.

"What can I do to help? I am the first person here, right?"

"Yeah, could you actually maybe pull the punch out of the fridge?" Dirk asked, "You're stronger than Todd or I and it's a heavy bowl."

"I resent that." Todd deadpanned, knowing that it was true.

Amanda helped them set up the rest of their party, finally catching Todd alone in the kitchen while Dirk was back readjusting the bats on the living room walls.

"So? Have you talked to him yet?"

"I'm pretending I don't know what you're talking about."

"Well your plan to do that was foiled by your dumbass self because you literally said that you were pretending and that's a bad strategy for this shit."

Todd flipped her off, grabbing a small mummy themed pig in a blanket.

"Todd. Seriously though, you really should talk to him. I mean, you like him. He likes you. You can work this shit out, it's not that hard."

Todd stared at her, completely confused, "But... Dirk likes Farah. He doesn't like me."

"Wait... Hold the fucking phone. You think Dirk 'the gayest man I've ever met' Gently likes Farah? Where on Earth did you get that shitty idea?"

"You?" Todd was more confused than ever, "When you said that he was jealous that I made out with her?"

"Oh. Oh you sweet summer child. You thought that he was jealous of you in that scenario? He was jealous of Farah for getting to make out with you."

Todd was silent.

"You... you thought Dirk was... straight?" Amanda was restraining herself from giggling.

"Well I didn't just want to be presumptuous."

"Hey Dirk!" Amanda called out.

"Amanda, I swear to god if you don't shut up right fucking now, I will kill you with the fake knife in the cake and it _will_ hurt."

"Todd thought you were straight!"

It wasn't the worst thing she could have said, but still it felt embarrassing as hell to have Dirk looking at him, a mixture of incredulous and disappointed.

"What, pray tell," Dirk began, sounding affronted, "Have I ever done to make you think that I'm anything but gay?"

Todd groaned, burying his face in his hands, "I don't know? Just trying to not presume shit like that?" His voice came out muffled.

Amanda pulled her phone out of her pocket, screen black and silent. "Oh, that's Martin, I've gotta take this, it should take me a half hour or so, don't wait for me!" She turned and winked at Todd, before stepping outside the apartment.

Todd glared at her retreating back.

Dirk had already turned back to the bats as if nothing had happened.

"Dirk, you realize that those bats are absolutely fine. There is nothing you can do to make them better at this point."

Dirk stepped back from the wall, "You're probably right." He pouted slightly. "Are you sure the apartment looks okay?"

"I mean, yeah. It looks great. Also the only other person showing up is Farah, so... It's not like we're entertaining for twenty people. So, y'know, I'm not entirely sure why there's so many refreshments." Todd joked, trying to turn the conversation to anything but emotions.

Dirk sighed, "You know how carried away I can get. I just got excited, and I think I had an idea to invite more people, until I realized that I didn't know anyone else. I mean, I guess I know the Rowdies, but…”

“Yeah.” Todd stood silently and awkwardly; his hands shoved deep in the pockets of his ill-fitting costume pants.

Dirk was still turned towards the wall, making minute adjustments to the bats.

“Do you want help with the bats?”

“No, it’s fine.” His voice was small, almost wounded.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah!” Though still small, there was a forced exuberance to his voice, “It’s Halloween, Todd, course I’m okay.”

Todd felt useless, knowing how bad he was at making people feel better.

“What’s wrong, Dirk?” Todd asked, feeling awful, fearing that he’d made Dirk upset.

“Nothing. Just realizing that I was just being… too optimistic, I guess.” The false cheer was gone. Dirk was still facing the wall.

Todd chewed on his lip for a moment, before sighing, “Dirk, you know how much of an idiot I am. When Amanda called me to say that she’d told you that I’d made out with Farah, I thought that you were jealous of me getting to make out with Farah. I dunno why, I… Anyway, now I’m realizing that maybe I might have just been using Farah as an outlet for the feelings I had for you.” Todd was wringing his hands, nervously looking down at his feet.

Dirk slowly turned away from the wall and the bats, and stared wide-eyed at Todd.

“I don’t know exactly what it is I feel for you, but it’s definitely not just… platonic.” Todd continued, “But I figured, the best way to find out is to try? If that’s something you’d want to do?”

“I would want that, yeah.” A smile was creeping onto Dirk’s face, “Can I kiss you?”

At Todd’s nod, he swooped forward kissed Todd softly on the lips before pulling back, nose wrinkled.

“If we’re going to be kissing, you’re going to have to lose the mustache.”

Todd laughed, “Gladly.”


End file.
